The Coalition of the Spilling

Atlanta, GA - In a move today that stunned the White House and the leaders of many Communist nations, the newly coined Coalition of the Spilling invaded the state of Georgia in what it called a mission ‘to stave off the genocide of unborn American citizens that has been all but enforced by the Democratic Party of The United States.’ Military forces from some 7 nations that included France, Italy, Swaziland, Belaruse, Burkina Fasa, Yemen and the former USSR province of Uzbekistan arrived in a kit plane over the airspace of Atlanta Georgia early Tuesday morning. It is not yet clear exactly when or where the Coalition was able to build their kit plane, but speculation has led American law enforcement to follow up leads both on the island of Cuba and the Florida State University campus in Florida. The kit plane landed on the green swath that leads to the NIH building complex in the early hours on Tuesday. The 9 man coalition exited the plane carrying what looked to be brooms, mops, vacuum cleaner attachments and nine millimeter sidearms. The coalition met little resistance from scientists as it entered the NIH complex, establishing a beachhead of sorts at the large double doors to the main building. The Yemenise and Uzbekistani men were left to stand guard while the other 7, led by the two French, carried out a seek and destroy mission that involved locating and destroying all liquid Nitrogen tanks containing human embryonic stem cells. Only hours after their Commando-style landing, the Coalition of the Spilling had overturned an estimated 2 large tank-looking objects, tearing away any tubing attached and emptying their contents onto the floor. One source close to the NIH, speaking on condition of anonymity said, ‘I haven’t been inside since the invasion began, but based on the reports I’ve been hearing, it sounds like they may have overturned some vats of soup in the NIH kitchen. I’ve been in that kitchen once or twice and believe me, under the right circumstances, I may have mistaken the Split Pea for embryonic stem cells too.’

By nightfall, the Yemenise Soldier, rumored to have needed a bathroom break, was seen leaving his post, much to the dismay of the Uzbekistani. Negotiators were then able to establish a line of communication with the invading coalition via the lone door ward and have begun disseminating what they think is the underlying policy for the invasion.

‘It’s clear that the Coalition went into the NIH to liberate unborn fetuses with inadequate resources. Reports have put the number of women troops in the coalition at 3, maybe less. We know the Swazi and at least one of the French are women, but two or three wombs is just far too few wombs to get all those embryos out alive. Far too few wombs,’ said Special Forces Commander Jason Tarkington of the Atlanta SWAT team.

Tarkington was able to confirm that the overturned vats were indeed chicken noodle soup. It has also been claimed that the lives of at least two NIH scientists as well as the life of the coalition force from Yemen have been lost in this military operation. The Coalition has released a statement to the world clarifying their aim:

‘We nations have a clear-defined duty to rid the world of oppressors of humanity and we will act according to our moral and ethical compass. The United States poses imminent threat to untold numbers of unborn fetuses and we must not be deterred from sparing them destruction. Though we have found no unborn fetuses to this point, we will not be discouraged; our search continues. We will stop at nothing to save all unborn fetuses from destruction, even if it means we must sacrifice the lives of our own men and women to do so. We will not be dissuaded by The United States’ campaign of disinformation that ‘embryonic stem cell research is much more prevalent in the private sector’ and that we would be better served to examine and infiltrate publicly traded companies that deal in biomedical research. The number of Coalition lives lost is a small price to pay in this just and noble cause.’